How “Promiscuous” Should You Be on LinkedIn?

Well, the poll results are in!  If you haven’t gone back and checked the posting I ran earlier this month, asking whether “quality” or “quantity” was more important when it came to forging connections on LinkedIn and similar sites, here’s a link that will take you there.

In sum, out of 27 people who took the time to vote, two of them seemed to feel that it was best to err on the side of building lots of connections, 10 of them felt people should be really cautious about who they hooked up with, and 14 felt that the answer really depended on the context of the situation and the purposes you were using the site to achieve.  And one person basically voted “none of the above” for some odd reason.  I’m not sure what other option there might be, actually, in terms of connection methodology, but if you’re the one rebel out there who voted this way and want to clarify your point-of-view, I’d love to hear it!

At any rate, it probably comes as no surprise that I would have voted for the third option, above, based on my belief that one’s “promiscuity level” on sites like LinkedIn should depend entirely on what you use the site for  and the risk/reward curve you’d face in connecting to lots of people on these types of systems.  For example, if you are someone who makes your living by networking and accessing lots of diverse people, I can completely understand the benefits that would result from connecting to almost anybody who asks, even if they’re a complete stranger.  For example, if you’re in a sales or recruiting role, there’s an awful lot to be gained, financially, by having thousands of 1st Degree contacts on LinkedIn and being able to access millions of other 2nd and 3rd Degree contacts, as a result.  You also probably have the networking chops to deal appropriately with the barrage of return favor requests and introductions you’re likely to get as a result of pursuing this high-volume strategy.

If you’re NOT in a sales-related role, however, you probably have a lot more to lose than to gain by overexposing yourself to thousands of contacts on these kinds of systems.  For starters, if you’re somebody in a management role with a well-known company, the reality these days is that you’re going to attract a lot of attention from job hunters seeking some inside help getting hired in your organization.  This can become  burdensome, after a while, especially if these requests are coming through complete strangers or other people you’ve let into your network, but don’t know very well.  You could also be a big neon target for hunter-type sales professionals eager to get an audience with you.  Don’t get me wrong — these are perfectly legitimate uses of the system and people have every right to ask the other folks around them for favors — but if you’d prefer to minimize the number of such requests you have to field on a regular basis, it’s smart to connect more carefully from the get-go and only build ties with a handful of people you have a great deal of trust in.

Is this advice reaching you too little, too late?  Have you already let a plethora of people connect to you on LinkedIn, including folks you don’t know all that well?  Unfortunately, the only permanent way to deal with this issue would be to actively disconnect with some of the people you’ve already hooked up with, but this is pretty bad form if they haven’t done anything specifically to abuse their connection with you.  A better approach, in most cases, is to visit your LinkedIn “Account & Settings” page and make a few adjustments that will protect you from some of the more extraneous requests.  For example, you could tweak your “Connections Browse” setting to prohibit casual browsing, as I do, so that people can’t just flip through everybody you know on the system looking for targets of opportunity.  Additionally, you can change your “Invitation Filtering” option to only accept invitations from people who know your e-mail address, going forward.  Or you can go into the “Contact Settings” page and tell the system to only let certain types of introduction requests through, such as business deals versus job inquiries, that sort of thing.

The bottom line is that you have a LOT of options in terms of how you approach sites like LinkedIn and how restrictive (or not) you choose to be about who you connect with.  The trick is to come up with the right strategy, for you, based on your professional focus and your relationship to “relationships” in general!

Is Your E.P. a Snoozer?

Years ago, I remember seeing a Saturday Night Live skit where Chevy Chase (playing his famous news anchor role) said something like: “In other news, social scientists have announced that the world’s population continues to grow at a steady 5% a year and that there are now an estimated 5.3 billion people on the planet.  The number of interesting ones, however, hasn’t changed.  That number is still 17.”

Okay, fine.  This might be a little over the top, but I’ll tell you, it hit me the other day that there’s a grain of truth in this sketch that actually has a serious bearing on the fortunes of many job hunters.  As obvious as it sounds, what struck me was the fact that so many elevator pitches one hears out there (“Hi there.  My name is John Smith and I’m a seasoned, results-oriented operations manager with over 27 years of diverse experience in…”) suffer from a fatal flaw: they’re just unquestionably, undeniably, painfully BORING!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m saying this with love in my heart, as well as a big “mea culpa” in recognition that I haven’t done a better job recognizing and promoting this idea in the past when helping people with their elevator pitch development.  After chatting with a number of clients lately, however, and asking them what stood out about some of the people they’d met with recently, I realized that the amount of the standard “resume stuff” like job titles, industry background, and the like that they were retaining was roughly zero.  The things they were remembering about people were almost always more personal.  Or unique.  Or off the beaten path.  Things like “Oh, that guy!  Isn’t he the one who just moved here from Rhode Island?” or “You know, I really liked Steve, the Eagle Scout” or “Betty…Betty…oh yeah, she’s the one who shows her toy poodle at Kennel Club shows!”

Again, this realization was so obvious when it hit me that if it were the proverbial snake, I’d be a severely bitten man right now.  But I sense I’m not the only one out there who has overlooked the importance of making sure, first and foremost, that you come across as INTERESTING when you introduce yourself to people.  In hindsight, it’s hard to deny that this is the greatest single ingredient in an effective pitch, since without it, you’re clearly sunk.  You may get a string of courtesy nods and some polite follow-up questions from the folks you encounter — heck, this is Seattle, after all — but the moment you walk away, they’re going to be flushing their short-term memory of anything you said that didn’t have any oomph or sticking power behind it.

So at the risk of being presumptuous, since I’m somewhat late to the party with this realization, I thought I’d quickly outline my own personal thoughts about what tends to make for MORE vs. LESS interesting material when it comes to personal introductions and networking banter.  Feel free to agree, disagree, or add suggestions accordingly…

MORE INTERESTING:

•  Geographical places (e.g. where you live, where you grew up, where you came from originally…)
•  Specific company names (e.g. where you’ve worked, where you’ve applied for jobs, where your spouse works…)
•  Passionate feelings (e.g. core beliefs, convictions, solutions you’d enjoy providing, what you love most about your life/career… )
•  Interesting observations (e.g. market predictions, business insights, trends, surprising developments…)
•  Humor (e.g. this is dangerous and highly subjective ground, but if you make somebody laugh, they’ll remember you!)
•  Personal breakthroughs (e.g. key milestones you’ve reached, successes you’ve had, challenges you’ve overcome…)
•  Hobbies (e.g. as long as they’re genuinely interesting and appropriate for mixed company…)

LESS INTERESTING:

•  How many years you’ve been in the workforce
•  Your skills, experience, and qualifications
•  The job titles you’ve held in the past or are targeting now
•  Your own personal wants and needs
•  Your current job situation (and any related anxieties about it)
•  Your setbacks (e.g. interview failures, frustrations, etc.)

This is just what comes to the top of mind when I mentally thumb through the list of people who have recently made a distinct positive impression on me, versus those I’ve bumped into and now only seem to have fuzzy recall around.  So again, whether you’re a professional in transition or somebody else (business owner, sales rep, etc.) who needs to have a high-quality pitch under your belt, I’d urge you to seriously evaluate the “interest quotient” of how you’re introducing yourself to people.  You may feel you have to keep things strictly business and within a sanitized comfort zone, but my personal experience is that this approach will fall short of accomplishing your ultimate goal — which is to be somebody who people will remember and be willing/able to help out, going forward!

I’ll be retooling my pitch, accordingly.  How about you?

Be the “Santa Claus” of Intangibles!

In my blog entry a few days ago, I praised Liz Lynch (author of Smart Networking) for her wonderfully simple advice to those job hunters (and other folks) who want to be reciprocal in their networking efforts, but feel they just don’t have all that much to give, at least of a tangible nature.  Her advice?  When all else fails, you should focus on giving people a feeling that they’ll enjoy, cherish, and remember.

Maya Angelou once made a similar observation, which a good friend of mine recently reminded me about.  Ms. Angelou remarked: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Do these statements hold true in your own life?  Can you cite instances of where somebody did a good turn by you, however small, that made your day and impacted you in a positive way you’ll remember for the rest of your life?  I know that I do.  And if you don’t, boy, I’m not really sure what to say.  All I can assume is that you must be wired pretty differently from the rest of us…

So if you’re a professional in transition, trying to master the subtleties of the networking process, I’d urge you to heed the above thoughts and observations carefully.  In my experience, they represent one of the most significant realizations that can help a person take their networking efforts to an entirely new level, both in terms of their short-term job hunting prospects as well as their long-term career success.  In all likelihood, after all, you’re going to be rubbing elbows with hundreds of different individuals throughout the course of your search.  And the one thing all of these people have in common is that they’re human beings — and few human beings have a maximum upper threshold in terms of how much appreciation they enjoy receiving, as long as they perceive it to be genuine in nature.

So while it can be hard to think beyond your own immediate wants and needs during the turbulence of an employment search, you should strive to develop your “giving” muscles and to focus on ways that you can consistently uplift and raise the spirits of those around you.  Do you routinely go out of your way to make the people around you feel respected?  Important?  Appreciated?  Entertained?  Special?  Helpful?  Or that they’ve made a difference in your life or job search?  If not, it’s never too late to learn, since there are a near-infinite amount of ways that you can impart these feelings to people and the good news is that they”re all free — or nearly free, depending on the gesture.

On that note, here’s a list of some simple and proven techniques you can add to your networking repertoire, until you develop your own signature methods:

– Remember people’s names and use them often (Was it Dale Carnegie who said our own names are the sweetest music our ears ever hear?)
– Send a handwritten thank you card expressing genuine appreciation for the person’s time (this display of gratitude never gets old)
– Surprise somebody with a LinkedIn endorsement, letter of recommendation, or another form of written testimonial (not just a nice gesture, but a potentially profitable one for the other party, as well)
– Make a thoughtful, relevant introduction on somebody’s behalf (tells a person you’re proud to have them in your network)
– Point out the qualities you admire in a person (don’t overdo it, of course, but sincere flattery can get you everywhere at times…)
– Pass along a book, article, CD, or some other small token gift that you know a person will enjoy (shows you listened to what they like and care about)
– Make a donation to a person’s favorite charity (if not immediately, then down the road, when asked, without hesitating)
– Put a person’s advice to good use and then circle back around, a week or two later, with an update (home run! home run!)
– Express genuine appreciation for people’s time; don’t act obligated or entitled to their assistance (sadly, this behavior still stands out; I can’t tell you how many contacts of mine have told me they’ve been “stood up” by other people lately who asked them for their help)
– Give the gift of your full, undivided attention (as above, it’s sad that this gesture will differentiate you from others, but trust me, it will)
– Offer to return the favor, however possible, down the road (shows that you recognize the value of what you were given)

This is just the tip of the iceberg, folks.  There are so many other examples I could share of where savvy networkers have found imaginative and inexpensive ways to make a person’s day and make themselves “memorable” for all the right reasons.  In fact, if you yourself have been the recipient of any such gestures, I’d urge you to submit a comment on this posting and share your story with the rest of us.  Speaking for myself, I know that I can personally recount dozens of people who have made a lasting positive impression on me through some small gesture or the other, over the years, and that these people hold a “special status” in my life/business sphere that money alone could never, ever buy…

Give to Get: Game Theory

Ready for esoteric networking commentary, part two?

While composing my previous article, about the tie-in between the famous “give to get” networking principle and the “potlatch” rite practiced by a number of Native American tribes in the Pacific Northwest, it struck me that there was one other geeky example I could share where modern job search advice seems to intersect with the annals of art, science, and history.  Again, folks, I realize it’s a sickness, so forgive me.  But I just love it when I spot a new twist or juicy, corroborating case study about networking that I haven’t seen anybody talk about before out there…

So this time around, we’re going to talk about the fascinating world of game theory.  If you really want to know more about this field, click here, but the cliff-notes version is that it involves scientists and mathematicians applying complex formulas, algorithms, and simulations to try to uncover the keys to successful strategy — be it of the military, corporate, board game, or “winning in life” variety.  And in these studies, if you peer closely enough, you’ll find empirical echoes of the “give to get” networking philosophy playing out, as well.

One famous experiment, for example, demonstrated that the most successful and stable long-term strategy for individuals living within a community was to always cooperate with the people around them as the first option.  To quote a few relevant passages about this study, again from Wikipedia: “Greedy strategies tended to do very poorly in the long run while more altruistic strategies did better, as judged purely by self-interest.”  Additionally, after conducting the experiment, Robert Axelrod [game theory expert and professor of Political Science & Public Policy at the University of Michigan] reached “the oxymoronic-sounding conclusion that selfish individuals for their own selfish good will tend to be nice and forgiving and non-envious.”

How accurate or controlled was this particular experiment?  I can’t say for sure, since I can barely remember how to do long division, much less understand the level of math involved in this kind of thing.  But setting that issue aside for a moment, if you re-read the paragraph above, there’s one part that really caught my attention and that relates back to the key point of this article, which is how these concepts relate to business and career networking.  If you read the quote again, you’ll notice that the experiments in question weren’t examining the benefits of cooperation from an ethical standpoint or for the sake of community welfare as a whole.  They were testing the effectiveness of cooperation (i.e. reciprocity) solely as a self-interested strategy designed to help the individual in question “win” and satisfy their OWN personal wants and needs.

This, to me, is the really intriguing part.  According to these experiments, even if one truly does view networking solely as a means to an end, from a purely self-interested “how can I leverage the people around me to get help/leads/referrals?” point of view, these studies still suggest that the key to success is to practice a help-others-first strategy as opposed to just going out and strip-mining your Rolodex for favors.  Scientifically proven?  Absolutely beyond dispute?  Directly relevant to your own daily networking efforts?  I’ll leave those questions up to you to answer, but I thought it was some interesting food for thought, at the very least…

Give to Get: The Potlatch Principle

Given the avalanche of books, literature, and blog articles that have been produced on the subject of “networking” over the past decade, it can be tough to find something new to contribute to the discussion, at times!  By now, most professionals (especially those in transition) have heard the same key networking themes dogmatically repeated dozens, if not hundreds, of times during their search:

1)  60-80% of all jobs come through the “hidden” job market of  networking and personal contacts;
2)  Social networking websites (e.g. Facebook, Biznik, LinkedIn) are now indispensable tools in the networking arsenal; and
3)  Your networking shouldn’t be 100% one-sided; you should practice a “give to get” philosophy for best results

It’s around the third point above, however, that I wanted to add a few thoughts that I haven’t seen talked about much in the networking literature to date.  As an avid fan of history, and sociology, I’m always on the lookout (to a fault, probably) for connections between supposedly “new” job hunting principles and other aspects of civilization that have been around for hundreds or thousands of years.  To me, finding these connections is not just fun, but helps me get a better grasp on why certain principles work, how long they’ve worked, and how best to explain them to other people who may not be as familiar with them on a day-to-day basis.

So on that note, let’s talk for a second about the idea that we can all get more of what we want out of life by focusing on giving things to others, versus getting things ourselves.  Frankly, I think most of us would agree that this notion makes sense.  Nobody likes being used, after all, and I’m sure all of us have had the experience of having been asked for a big favor by somebody who then disappears without a word of thanks, a thoughtful follow-up note, or a single gesture of reciprocity.  When this happens, too, I’m sure we all tend to kick ourselves and promise that we’ll never lift a finger to help the ingrate in question again, right?  I mean, I don’t know about you, but I certainly have a “mental blacklist” (thankfully a very short one!) of people from the past to whom I gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t ever really seem to “get back” from.  So to avoid becoming one of these people, myself, I consciously focus on trying to help other people and reciprocate as much as possible, knowing that these efforts are mostly likely to keep the door open for future favors.

As for the origins of this whole two-way networking notion, one could certainly argue that Dale Carnegie was the first person who brought the “give to get” concept to the masses in his 1936 classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  Since then, numerous authors have slapped their own spin on the same concept and re-branded it.  For example, there are variations on the theme found in both Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking” as well as Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” books.  You’ll also find a metaphysical twist on the principle running throughout all of the “Law of Attraction” titles that have come out in recent years.  Every few decades, like clockwork, somebody seems to resuscitate this pearl of interpersonal wisdom, package it for the next generation, and sell a few million dollars’ worth of books and self-help videos.

My belief, however, is that there’s a community out there that’s got even Mr. Carnegie beat in terms of espousing the “give to get” concept in an organized way.  Who might that be?  Growing up in Juneau, Alaska, we spent a fair amount of time in school studying the history of the local Native tribes, and I remember being taught that these communities routinely held a special type of party called a “potlatch” where the hosts would (among other rites) make a point of giving away lavish gifts to all of their guests, almost to the point of impoverishment.  The more valuable the gifts given, the greater the esteem and respect would be accorded to the hosts.  To cite the relevant Wikipedia entry on the subject, in a Potlatch culture “the status of any given family is raised not by who has the most resources, but by who distributes the most resources.”

So when it comes to the idea that giving freely to other people is the best route to achieving success, both among one’s network and among the community at large, I think the Pacific Northwest tribes get the prize for fleshing this idea out first in formalized fashion.  In fact, I’ll confess that whenever I hear the “give to get” guideline cited by various networking experts out there, I automatically translate the concept into “The Potlatch Principle” in my head, since this label helps me both understand it, as well as remember and practice it in my own business ventures.

Pretty esoteric stuff, I realize, and I wouldn’t be surprised a bit if some of you immediately start forwarding me some literature proving that the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, or some other ancient civilization was routinely preaching/practicing the two-way networking schtick even earlier!  As I mentioned, though, it’s hard to find anything terribly original to add to the sea of networking advice out there, so I thought I’d dust off my keyboard today and give it my best shot…

Got Help, Part 2

Well, the hits just keep on coming!  In the last few days, I’ve been thrilled to witness a continuing wave of “unabashed helping” taking place out there in the job market, which is absolutely great to see.  Story after story has come rolling in to my inbox lately of people who have been on the receiving end of some generous (and frequently unprompted) assistance from friends, acquaintances, and often even complete strangers.

What I believe this trend underscores, more than anything, is a rediscovered realization around the importance of community.  Simply put, people have banded together since the dawn of time largely out of the realization that it’s a wise strategy to surround yourself with other trusted individuals, given that all of our fortunes (literally and figuratively) are extremely fickle and uncertain, at best.  Sometimes you’ll be in a position to be a “giver” when those around you are in need, and at other times, you’ll need to become more of a “taker” when your own personal chips are down.  But that’s the beauty of it.  Communities get this, intrinsically, and operate based on the time-tested principle that what goes around tends to come around.

So in an era when many traditional community structures (e.g. bowling leagues, town hall meetings, the church, etc.) are not quite as commonplace as they once were, it’s great to see people banding together in new ways (e.g. LinkedIn Groups, networking gatherings, political “tea parties”, etc. ) to replicate the same awesome power of the community construct.  Not feeling that you’re part of an active community of any kind?  If so, it’s time to find one.  Or perhaps even more than one.  Searching for work as an “island unto yourself” is too stressful of a proposition these days for the average person to take upon themselves, alone.

As for some specific upbeat stories to pass along, related to helpfulness, I’d first steer people to the recent blog entry written by Mark Ippolito here that encourages everybody to take an hour of their time each month and devote it to reaching out and helping somebody they know who is in career transition.  What a great concept, especially if you don’t wait for a person to ask you for this help, but volunteer it proactively, instead.  Such a gesture can go a long way to reviving the flagging spirits of a job hunter, even if the help you offer is of a fairly modest variety.  Mark has even created a Facebook page here where people can share stories about this “pay it forward” project.

On a related note, I know that I’ve personally referred three people along lately to a few of my former clients who are all extremely busy individuals.  And to their credit, each and every one of them stepped up to the plate and agreed to lend a hand!   While I’ll keep their names anonymous to protect the innocent, I’ll post a snippet of each of their e-mail responses, below, just so we can all bask in the spirit of their generosity…

•  “It would be my pleasure to speak with him.  Have him email me and I’ll have my admin set up a time we could meet and discuss career options with him. Thanks for thinking of me for this sort of thing.  I really enjoy giving someone tips on how to proceed with a career.”

•  “Please feel free to pass along my e-mail address to your client and I’d be happy to spend some time, either over the phone or in person, discussing career options in the SEO/SEM/Online marketing field.”

•  “Always happy to help out.  By the way, it really is no problem to shove people toward me who need some insight into [my current company] since this is what Networking is all about, isn’t it? And I am pretty sure I am getting the better part of the deal anyway.”

Perhaps these short sentences don’t seem like much to some of you, but to me, they represent a layer of exciting evidence that people are starting to wake up and realize that generosity is a downright smart life strategy, plain and simple.  Who knows how these people will be repaid for their time, either by me, the person I referred along, or in some other way known only to the universe?  I’m just happy to count such people as friends in my own “community of contacts” and if each/any of you are reading this, my thanks, again!

And as a very appropriate ending to this post, I’d urge you to each click here and refresh yourself on a classic fable that addresses these exact issues — despite being over 2,000 years old!  Can we all learn something from this savvy lion, or what?

Social Capital is King

While I’m out sick from the office today, nursing a cold and suffering from an almost complete loss of my voice, I’m thankful that at least my fingers still work — since I’m a bit behind on my normal blogging regimen and this will be a good chance to get some thoughts out of my brain and onto the page!

Primarily, looking back at various experiences over recent weeks, what stands out the most in my mind is the growing and critical importance of “social capital” as part of the career success equation.  I know, I know.  Everybody has figured out by now that networking is supremely important and that landing a job is most likely going to come through a word-of-mouth interaction, as opposed to published ads or staffing firms.  And yet, in recent months, I’ve seen multiple forms of evidence that suggest this dynamic is even more pronounced that in has been in years past, and that personal relationships are now accounting for perhaps 80-90% of all hiring activity — compared to the traditional 60-70% statistic that is most frequently tossed around!

Now unfortunately, I don’t have the resources to launch a major longitudinal survey to prove this hypothesis beyond the shadow of a doubt, but I can attest, anecdotally, that the vast majority of clients I’ve been working with who have landed recently have done so primarily through a personal relationship of some kind.  To me, it’s as if companies have largely given up relying on advertisements to find the talent they need, at least for mid-to-senior level positions, likely due to the fact that they a) don’t want to have to invest dozens of hours in resume screening and interviewing and b) they figure they’re virtually guaranteed to find a trusted, vouched-for candidate from among their network if they put the word out far and wide enough.

There was a recent article I came across discussing the massive growth of the Craigslist job board, in fact, but then commenting how some companies have stopped using it since they were getting overrun with resume submissions.  And on a separate but related note, one of my clients who just landed (hooray!) mentioned that the reason he was selected for the job was because the hiring manager knew him from a few years back, at a previous company, and figured it was just faster and easier to hire him — as opposed to wading through the hundreds of other resumes that were sent in.  So on the surface, one might have seen the advertisement in question and thought it was a level playing field, but as in so many cases, the spoils went to the person who had a personal connection to the company, behind the scenes.  Ah, nepotism can be a beautiful thing when it works for you, rather than against you!

So from my standpoint, based on the activity currents I’ve been observing out there in the market, the importance of networking has taken yet another quantum leap forward in terms of job search effectiveness, leading me the main “advisory” point of this posting: it’s high time for every professional to take their relationships seriously and get their social capital in order!

What does this mean, exactly?  It means that if you walk into my office, and ask me why your job search and career prospects don’t seem to be faring very well, the first thing I’m going to want to know about is the quality and quantity of the relationships you’ve built over the years.  And if you’re not able to produce a list of some kind, outlining the various people you have in your network, I’m going to send you off to create one.  I don’t care whether you use a simple Excel spreadsheet, Microsoft Outlook, a fancy CRM system like Act! for Windows, or even good old-fashioned pen and paper — we just need to get a handle on who you know, how you know them, and how well you’ve communicated with them about your current situation.  It’s really that simple.  And it’s the absolute baseline starting point for anybody who wants to engage in a serious discussion about either generating new business for their company or generating fresh leads from a job search standpoint.

You wouldn’t consult a financial advisor (or at least expect useful advice) without being able to show them where all of your financial capital is tucked away, would you?  Along the same lines, don’t consult a career coach or seek out help with your job search strategy until you can account for the full spectrum of your social capital and how it’s distributed.  It’s an absolute necessity to have such a system in place, no matter which corner of the professional world you inhabit, and your system doesn’t have to be complicated — just complete!

5 Tips for Achieving “Maximum Referability”

It doesn’t really matter who you are, where you live, or what you do for a living — the odds are, a large portion of your ongoing success is going to boil down to your ability to generate a consistent stream of quality referrals from your network.

As a job seeker, personal referrals are vital to helping you get a foot in the door before positions get advertised, as well as in helping you secure some “special consideration” even after an opportunity has been announced to the public at large.  And if you’re a business owner or consultant, instead, referrals will almost certainly be the lifeblood of your business development efforts, and your success will be heavily dependent on your ability to convert each satisfied client into a series of additional leads and prospects.

In light of this reality, I thought I’d take a moment to pass along five tips that might be helpful to those of you out there who are somewhat new to the networking game.  These tips derive from the hundreds of successful (and unsuccessful) networking interactions I witness among my client base each month — as well as through my own business development efforts — and I feel strongly that adopting these principles will help almost anybody increase the number of quality referrals they generate on a regular basis.

1)  Entitlement is out

First of all, more than anything else, I’d emphasize that nobody “owes” anybody referrals — so don’t ever pressure your contacts for names or act like you’re entitled to dive-bomb their Rolodex!  Even when people pay for some of the high-end programs I offer, which cost a thousand dollars or more, I make it absolutely clear up front that people are paying for advice, not introductions.  Relationships, whether mine or yours, are far too precious to be exploited or taken lightly.  They require huge infusions of time, energy, and trust to build, yet can be destroyed overnight through a single bad referral or an introduction that goes awry.  So if you’re running around out there projecting even an ounce of entitlement in this respect, ditch it, and focus instead on “earning” quality introductions from those around you.

2)  Provide a compelling reason for the introduction

Another critical networking factor a lot of people overlook is that in many cases, even between two people who know each other well, the success of a referral isn’t automatic.  In many cases, your contact may need to “sell” the connection to a certain extent and explain why they’re passing your name along; otherwise, the introduction will seem random and the person on the receiving end will be less motivated to respond.  So if you were to come to me and ask for a referral, for example, I’d need to have a crystal-clear answer to the question “Why you, and why them?” in order to feel 100% comfortable moving forward.  What relevant reason can I pass along to my contact to get them excited to meet with you? What’s the relevance between your background and their wants, needs, or expertise?

There’s a world of difference, in other words, between somebody asking “Can you introduce me to your contact at The Gates Foundation?” and “Can you introduce me to your contact at the Gates Foundation, because I see that they’re working on an initiative there that is highly similar to one that I tackled for my last company…”

By helping your contacts in this capacity, and painting a clear picture about your reasons for requesting a particular referral, to a particular individual, you’ll get far better results.  All involve will benefit and it will make it much easier for folks to pass your name along and tee things up properly for success.  Frankly, too, this is also the reason I use the setting on LinkedIn that allows one to “hide” their contacts from casual browsing.  While people are still able to find anybody I may know in the system, and request an introduction, they need to do this using a specific “People Search” on the site (so they know what they’re looking for) instead of just flipping through a list of my contacts, at random, seeking targets of opportunity.

3)  Get coached on the right approach

When somebody offers to make an introduction, you should always ask them what method of contact would be most convenient and appropriate for the situation.  Would they be willing to call or e-mail the person on your behalf?  Would they prefer that you initiate things, instead?  Would going through a site like LinkedIn make sense, under the circumstances?  Different people have different preferences when it comes to communicating, so ask your contact to “coach” you on what method of approach will work best.  They are in a much better position than you are to know whether the referral target is somebody who lives and dies by e-mail — is a social networking site junkie — or is somebody who prefers the immediacy of a phone call.

As for myself, I almost always recommend the usage of LinkedIn when I make referrals, assuming that the two people in question are both linked to me on the system.  Not only does this put the ball in the court of the person requesting the favor to initiate things, but I also believe this approach warms the introduction up, since both parties can read each others’ profiles and get to know each other a little bit before the connection occurs.  Additionally, when an introduction request comes through LinkedIn, you know for absolute certain that the referring party is genuinely sponsoring the intro (since they have to approve it first) and you can also read whatever notes they attach to the message, explaining the reasons behind the referral.

4)  Forgive those who forget

Even the best of us make promises, at times, and then forget to carry them out.  Or we offer to facilitate an introduction, then procrastinate around it for weeks, until we get a nudge that tells us we need to make the referral a priority again.  So you should expect, in advance, that this is going to happen to you a few times during the course of your job search or business development efforts.

The key in these situations is to not get angry or take things personally, but to make a point to gently remind people, if necessary, that you’re still very interested in being granted the favor that they had initially offered.  Give them a few days to come through for you, and if no action seems to take place, touch base with them and tell them again how thankful you’d be if they could make the connection that you had talked about with them earlier.  Don’t embarrass them, don’t give them a guilt trip, and don’t imply that they’ve let you down in any way.  If anything, go the extra mile to make it as easy as possible for them to comply with your request.  Tell them that you’d be happy to call the person yourself, if they’re too busy, or to e-mail along some further thoughts or reasons as to why you think the connection would be highly productive.

5) Don’t get greedy; start with one solid referral and ace it!

Have you ever heard the old saying “pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered?”  When it comes to networking, you definitely don’t want to be perceived as a hog.  While people can certainly feel free to offer you multiple contacts of their own accord, it’s somewhat impolite to ask for more than one referral at a time, yourself — especially when you’re networking with people you’ve only known for a limited period of time.

So my advice when seeking referrals is to start by trying to earn one solid introduction from each of the people you know, and when that happens, make sure to pull out all the stops to “ace” the referral and convince them you’re a worthy person with whom to share additional names.  In terms of specific behaviors, this means that you should respect (i.e. not waste) the referral person’s time, be clear about your objectives, express gratitude for their help, and follow up with all parties, appropriately, to communicate the status of the referral discussion — as well as your ongoing appreciation.

At the end of the day, great networkers do whatever it takes to make the people they know look like superstars for passing their names along, and this creates both an unbeatable positive feedback loop and an incredibly solid platform for success, whether you’re a professional in transition or an aspiring entrepreneur!

Beware the “Passive Networking” Trap!

Back in the nineties, when I started a new coaching or outplacement engagement with a client, I would often have to educate them on the important role that networking plays in job search success — and then explain what the word “networking” actually meant, since at the time, this was a fairly new buzzword that was entering the marketplace!

Fast-forward a decade or so, however, and you’ll find the term “networking” firmly embedded in the lexicon of almost every professional, since it’s hard to imagine that any human being could possibly have avoided the onslaught of books, articles, websites, and news stories devoted to the topic in recent years.  Most professionals have also now finally come to appreciate and accept the fact, at long last, that the vast majority of all hiring (as well as most business transactions) takes place under the radar screen, driven by an invisible web of trusted referral relationships.

There’s trouble in paradise, however.  Now that the concept of networking has gained a status of “cozy familiarity” among so many of us, I’m starting to see a trend that concerns me.  What I’ve observed in recent months, and had brought into sharp focus by a few recent examples among my own client base, is that many people think they’re networking appropriately, and actively, but actually aren’t.  At least not in the manner most likely to produce results.  What I’ve observed is that many people now seem to treat the word networking as synonymous with “going to lots of events” and/or “having coffee with lots of people.”  I would argue, however, that this is a very imperfect and ineffective way to view the concept, since it completely disregards the volitional aspect involved in true quality networking.  In other words, you can’t simply hang around a bunch of people, passively, and pat yourself on the back for a “networking job” well done.  If you’re not getting out of your comfort zone and routinely requesting referrals, favors, and specific advice from people, on a daily basis, you’re likely cheating the process — and as a consequence, cheating yourself.

For example, when I watch true networking-minded professionals in action, these people always have a crystal-clear agenda in mind and are working some angle that they believe will help them get closer to their goals.  They call you not just to say hello and shoot the breeze, but to ask whether you can point them to any specific companies in town who are working on new robotics technology…or selling outdoor industry products…or offering web marketing solutions…or developing alternative energy technologies.  Or they send you a copy of their cover letter and say “would you tear this apart and let me know how you’d respond to it, if you received a note like this?”  Or they ask you how much you know about writing a business plan, and if you don’t know much, who you’d recommend that does have this particular expertise.  Or best of all, following the advice I’ve been spewing for years, they’ll whip out a list of specific local companies and say “Hey, I need your help.  I’ve done a ton of research lately to isolate the 25 companies in town I could add the most value to, given my background and expertise, and was hoping you could look through this list to see what you might know about these firms — or better yet, who you might know that could help me get a foot in the door.”

On the other hand, I also know hundreds of people who are simply milling around out there in the community, having pleasant interactions with people, but never actually taking the initiative to ask for what they want and need — or to figure out what these specific wants and needs should be, in the first place!  These are the people with whom you’ll have a nice chat over coffee, and with whom you’ll trade quips about the weather or the latest college basketball scores, but where you’ll leave the meeting wondering “what is that person actually trying to do?” or “what did that person actually want from me?”  These are also the people who are currently enrolled in as many as a half-dozen networking groups or clubs around town (including, admittedly, ones I host) where they’ll surround themselves with other supportive and well-intentioned job hunters, but fail to realize that there’s only so much tangible benefit to be gained within the comfortable womb of these types of environments.  Should such groups be part of one’s networking strategy?  Absolutely.  But I’m sure we’d all admit that there’s likely much more to be gained by participating in organizations where people come together to celebrate a shared passion — or where the other attendees are actually working and positioned more favorably to make introductions to actual decision-makers.

So if you’ve been out of work for a while, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart chat with yourself around this issue.  Are you truly engaged in an active regimen of goal-oriented “power” networking or are you simply going through the motions, attending a bunch of softball events and hoping that somehow, miraculously, another unemployed professional will drop a red-hot lead in your lap?  I’m afraid to say that I know many people who are drifting into the latter camp, as of late, and I’m quite concerned about how this will impact both the success and speed of their overall employment search…

Your Networking Vibe: Is It “Help Me” or “Save Me”?

Unlike the “old days” of the nineties, when the concept of networking (at least as a formal, planned activity) was just coming into vogue, and people were hesitant to engage in it, I’m constantly impressed by how many people today seem to understand the importance of networking and relationship-building as part of their ongoing career efforts.

While there are many well-intentioned souls out there networking their buns off, however, I still see people engaging in some practices that will definitely limit the results they receive.  Perhaps the most common one, at least with regard to professionals going through job transition, is to send off a signal of “save me” or “rescue me” versus the much more productive “help me” vibe.  As you can imagine, the former attitudes are far less effective, since few people are in the “saving” business these days and many individuals will be instantly turned off (although they may disguise it well) by a job seeker who doesn’t seem to be focused, have a game plan, or appears to be expecting somebody else to come along and solve their problem for them.

So if you’re in transition, yourself, you’ll want to monitor your networking activities carefully and take the steps necessary to ensure that you’re not giving off the wrong impression, either consciously or unconsciously.  To help with this determination, here’s a quick breakdown of some of the WRONG and INEFFECTIVE types of networking requests, versus the type that produce better results:

Ineffective “Save Me” Networking Requests

“Do you know of any job openings that would fit me?”
“Do you know of any companies that I should be talking to?”
“Do you know any people I should contact?”
“What kinds of jobs do you think I should be targeting?”
“Here’s my resume — please pass it along to anybody you know.”

Effective “Help Me” Networking Requests

“I saw an opening over at Blue Nile the other day that really interests me; do you happen to know anybody at that organization who might be able to help me get a foot in the door?”

“I’ve spent the past week building a list of 25 companies where I think my skills would fit like a glove; would you mind reviewing this list for a second and letting me know if you’ve heard anything about any of these firms?”

“While I’m always open to new connections, I’d particularly like to make contact with a few venture capitalists around town, since I think my start-up experience would be a perfect fit for some of their portfolio companies.  Is there any chance you have any VC folks in your network to whom you’d be comfortable making an introduction on my behalf?”

“While I’ve got a pretty diverse skill set, and could wear a lot of different hats for organizations, I’ve been researching some of the current needs that companies are facing most these days — and have decided to put some serious effort into finding a facilities management role, since that’s one area of my background I’m particularly passionate about.”

“Here’s my resume — since I haven’t had to write one in a while, however, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to look it over and share your feedback, especially since I know you’ve been involved in a lot of hiring over the years.  Any thoughts on how to polish it up even further would be greatly appreciated.”

As you can hopefully see from the above examples, there’s a world of difference between the job hunter that seems rudderless, and floundering, and the job hunter who seems to be pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, doing their homework, and only asking for help with those specific activities that they can’t perform themselves!

I know it can be hard to kick into this kind of proactive, action-oriented mode when you’re between jobs, and feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety, but it’s absolutely essential to getting successful results out on the networking circuit.  And despite the incessant drumbeat of negative news reports out there, I still have tremendous faith in human nature and the willingness of the average person to lend a hand to other people in need.  I just feel the bar has been raised a little bit due to the numbers of people currently seeking favors and referrals — and as a result, while many individuals will still cheerfully “jump on the bandwagon” of people who seem to be helping themselves, they’ll tend to brush off those folks who just seem to be trolling for leads or merely looking for a handout!